Wednesday, July 22, 2009

A piece of the past/future

I am actively working on a book. It falls into the memoir category as it mostly deals with the last year and a half. Starting with my marriage ending and covering the ground of the ever escalating craziness of the women I have been involved with. As I put the narrative together and flesh pieces out I am going back over older writings. Old journal notes and things that I have lying around. As I go over this it is starting to broaden and deepen the scope of what I am trying to write. I found the following in an old notebook. written by my wife it defines a good chunk of our last few years together.

We have been married now for 3 months, and I have a feeling that you have been cheating on me. On wednesday I said that you did not find me attractive and you never answered me. Before I told you about a dream I had that you were cheating on me. Even then you did not tell me that you were not cheating on me. I don't get any sex and when I do it isn't very good. It's like you're not even in to it. Like you don't even want to be having sex with me. You only do it to shut me up. Now that's not fair to you or me.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Gibberish 7 18 2009 6:51pm

Round squares wrapped into oblong holes. vacation on the sun - ooh it's a little too hot. wipe my brain of these helicopters gnawing on my chin bones. You can't hug your children with nuclear arms - love the tv- stupidity grows like a fungus. brain cells deteriorate - the mental challenge of victory is less fufilling than reality tv. poke your finger into the bear cage see what happens - blood spurts out into the air - a small mesquito sates its hunger in a puddle of your blood - Your womanly moment leads to a trail of ears you gave up everything for the man you loved. he laughed and walked into the ocean - the devil stood at the shore and told you that eating pussy would be good for your values. you danced with a martini in your hand and fell down drunk - your bloody knee felt no pain after the four vodka cranberry's you had knocked back - yes my dear you are an alcoholic- you are stuck in your bitter little world hoping your baby daddy will magically transform into prince charming. lets get it straight - shit like that doesn't happen not even on danny the street - no where in this world or the next three can that occur - open your fucking eyes and see the definite direction your life should take - black trees rise up out of the ground- tendrils reaching out to infest this world with something other than happiness - the sound of this movie is too loud - i prefer to hear the girl upstairs get fucked - she was funny she sounded so nice and polite until you got her to that moment - i wonder what her future brought her, selling children and running on the edge of life - when pushed to the edge - staring at the abyss what will you do.-- we each face these dangers - we need to know our own character find our heart -- the truth of our lives is in each one of us everyday. Chaos rules and crazy is everywhere, dust off the radar and watch the signals. Populate this landscape with new ideas tell new stories from the horrible to the serene. happiness is what we make it . pounding out words on this keyboard really do make me happy - i face the depression - i utilize the decompression - events are in my control this world is always mine. slices of black stain my life, some more than others - i am not your guardian i am just someone you know -
7:06 pm

Friday, July 17, 2009

Gibberish 7 17 2009 3:20PM

my brain is damaged by repeated involvement with crazy - i don't think like normal people anymore - my higher functions now work in sprirals - inter connected tissues that weave an intricate shroud of comprehension and avoidance of complacency. Dance little frog as you bounce out of the window into traffic. fingers flying across the keyboard. randomized elements of design populate my visionquest. Alleviate my hunger with nourishment of misery. drink deeply on the suffering of others - war machines crowd heavily at borders. tensions rise - animal instincts are bound to take over sooner than later. for gods sake we do our work - have you really ever looked at that statement - how fucking egotistical. For the sake of God you don't do shit. EVerything you do is for yourself and no other. Particles of my life sometimes stick to my shoes - dna evidence of where i have been. do you really think you could keep up with my dementia. not on this planet. the quantum physics of this world don't permit fifth dimensional travelling. hyper context - underlying currents of lies. the truth fabricates an unfortunate reality that most can not stand up to . blasting typeface fortified against poor grammar. fly across the keyboard, selective assignment of letters. conforming to the rules of language. we speak mostly without words. dialogue brings pain. ideas given shape and form. your farm team daydream might one day become reality as you blister across the pond. skipping rocks on the surbace of your brain tissue. to be unseen, unheard. i am not invisible i am obvious. stated from the beginning i mean no harm - i reach out and conduct experiments with the lives of others. they mean so little. what value do they really have. pontification abounds. data streams run lite with true intelligence. controlled moments as the time fabric is resewn for a more positive result. ho chi minh's trail marched north not south. our brand of the big C filtered in . socio economic dominance as terrible paintings appear on the horizon. no these are not just my thing they really are just fucking horrible. a lacking morality at play on canvas. the combinination of elements and animals to justify ones pagan beliefs. pour acid on this useless bitch's mouth. she speaks of marriage as if it were a good thing. we falter and fail in our heartbreaking moments. the most useless organ in the body. meta physically a waste. discard it at a young age so you can step forward and obliterate the distinction of human. we are a stain on the surface of this planet. it is far past the time for the lava to erupt out of the bowels and remove our cancerous behaviour. we serve no further purpose. we are the pinnacle of evolution. of course yuo have to reinterpret what you think pinnacle means.
thank you

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


we fall to dust - discard items of sentiment - sever the tissues of connectivity

no matter what - the action and reaction motion of this planet continues

perhaps that will stop - what more do we offer - where lies our new inspiration

Monday, July 13, 2009

Comic Book Romance part 1

Comic Book Romance is a title of a book I have been talking about doing for about 15 years now. In that time it has undergone a number of transformations depending on what might be influencing me at the time.
Once is was a murder mystery where an artist murdered the writer he was working with or so it seemed. that version actually had it being the editor framing the writer because the writer had done something cliche like sleep with his wife/girlfriend.

At other times I looked at it as the backstory of comics. The who's sleeping with who, who screwed over who on a business deal and a mixture of fact, fiction, legend and myth.

One other version tried to take the high road. Showcase the wonder and enjoyment comics can create.

I decided that I kept falling short on all of those. I was trying to figure out a way to entertain someone other than me.

This is my Comic Book Romance. Told at a point where I am spending the least amount on comics I ever have in my life. Very few things keep my attention. Very little is challenging me a reader. Most of the what I have picked up in the past year or so are design related - the first issue of Wednesday Comics is a brilliant take on current design merged with classic comic pages. Exciting. At least for me.

I love comics. Always have. The first comic I remember buying was Action Comics #491, the first one I remember reading was JLA # 172 - the death of Mr. Terrific. I remember Wolfman and Perez's Titans from the beginning. Perez drawing JLA. The transistion from Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes to the book just being The Legion of Super-Heroes. Paul Levitz and Keith Giffen telling the Great Darkness Saga. Barry Allen's wife being killed. Nemesis appearing in the Brave and the Bold. The Sword of the Atom - one of the first comics to radically reboot a traditional hero concept - after my own divorce that book makes so much more sense. The first Marvel I remember reading is Powerman and Iron Fist #65 - Kerry Gammill art and featuring El Aguila - New York City in the 80's - That is one thing about Marvel I have always enjoyed, real cities and when created by folks that were living there it came through.

So this is my new plan. Stream of thought on my history with comics. No prep, no research. Just memory and my keyboard. We'll see how far I get.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Friday and stuff that gets me through

Sometimes a week can just be so undescribably uncomfortable without any major event occuring. This has been one of those weeks. For that i look towards things that I can always appreciate. here are a few
Dave McKean - One of the most inspiring artists working. Narcolepsy is a really compact who is dave mckean- flipping through its pages i taken away from whatever bullshit is around and seeing the thought and power of the image.
The Paperback covers of Robert McGinnis - beautiful art from a supposedly simpler time in the world. And damn beautiful women. Can't forget those.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

My favorite web places

We all do it. We scroll across the world wide web, looking for that something new. I find myself hitting several places on a consistent basis. I hit these because they are just that damn good.
Sean Phillips blog - It's crazy how well he draws
D'Israeli - just amazing
Great interviews - obviously new york centric but there comes a point when you have read as many comics set in new york, it feels a little like home
Matt's and old friend and some of the unpublished work he has put up really knocks it out of the park
It's Kevin Nowlan. Take a look and you will realize I don't need to say anymore.
Scott Morse is prolific. And talented. and just ridiculously prolific and talented.

A nice visual kick

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

a hopeful sunset

this is one of my larger canvases. My medium is spray paint. I gave this to a friend who only sort of speaks to me now, so this one photo is all i have left of one of my best paintings so far.

Old ghosts

In early June I suffered a horrific computer crash. Several years of created and manipulated imagery is now out of my reach. It is thought that the data still exists on my computer i just haven't spent the time and resources to confirm. A handful of my images exist out on the web - this is one I like. Time to make some new images.

Welcome to me rambling

I need an outlet to show bits and pieces of my world. Like all of us my ego needs an occasional justification that you can only get by showing your ass to the rest of the world.

My goal is to put at least one thing up everyday. Principally I want to put up paintings so I can guide people to them. I may also post up design bits and pieces and probably some amusing life stories. I live in a Jerry Springer world so some of this stuff gets to be funny.

All right that's the first one, we'll go from here.